I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
