I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
tell me about the fingering
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
