I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
