I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
