you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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