so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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