kristin has been a bad kristin
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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