No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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