The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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