To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
