TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
