she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
