And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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