Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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