Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
