I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
