we're blogging at a bar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
