I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
