Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
