Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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