I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
