i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
