apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
