id be glad to
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
