i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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