Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
