Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
