Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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