omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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