My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
