dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
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just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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