i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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