You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
