are you so shy because you have an std?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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