Whod you bang
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
