i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize