I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
