ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
