I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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