I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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