I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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