We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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