at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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