I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
