we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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