that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
