Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
