letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize