I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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