I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
