Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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