sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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