I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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