We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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