UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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