I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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