i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
