What a fucking waste of an outfit
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize