you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im about as happy as oj after his trial
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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