You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
